Linda Grace Streeper

A lot of this post is a copy from my sister's blog (with some changed details) since we all know she's better at the words thing than me, especially when emotions are involved because I just turn into a blubbering, snotty mess when I try to express myself and she does is so perfectly.

For most of my life, the last 20 years at least, I have had two moms. When I was 4, my parents divorced. My mom got re-married soon after I turned 5 to my wonderful step-dad Bob. My dad stayed single for a while longer. About a year and a half after the divorce, he married Linda, who brought along with her 7 children from her first husband.
Due to a very complicated and completely unnecessary series of events, I ended up growing up primarily with Dad, Linda, and her kids. I love my mom, so very much. But I also love my step-mom, too. She was easily one of the strongest figures in my childhood.
My mother taught me to appreciate beauty. She taught me the names of all the plants and flowers. She encouraged and nurtured my artistic side. She taught me the value of laughter. She taught me the importance of music, and the importance of kindness. She taught me to value family and tradition.
My step mother taught me most everything else there is to know. She ran a tight ship, and expected nothing but the very best from me and everyone else. She never gave anyone the run-around. She hated falseness, and pretenses, and loved people like her who would tell it just like it was.
She taught me to work hard, and not to make excuses for myself or my failures. She taught me how to be honest. She taught me how to stand up for myself. She taught me how to call someone on their B.S. She taught me to never quit. She taught me how to fight my own battles. She taught me how to cook. She taught me how to keep a house so clean you could eat off the floors. She taught me how to arrange flowers. She taught me how to balance a check book. She taught me how to keep a poker face and how to make "the eye". She taught me how to be in charge and step-up when leadership was needed. She taught me the value of hand-made, and the urgency of adding chocolate chips to everything. She taught me the importance of the little things. She taught me how to plan and save for my future. She taught me how to stay on task. She taught me that when life deals you a crummy hand, sometimes cleaning up will really make you feel better. And if that doesn't work, shopping and ice cream will.
She was by no means perfect, but I honestly believe that she was given some tough breaks in her life and did the very best with what she had. She taught me that, too... how to make do with what you get. She was an example to everyone of how to be a step-mother, including the fact that it's possible to love your step-kids like they're your own. She taught me that sometimes when you love someone enough it's okay to be in the background, as long as you get to stay in the picture somehow.

My dad and my step-mom got divorced a few months before I got married. I never really got to the point where I felt comfortable being close to her again, because for some reason it felt treasonous, but I never stopped loving her or missing her, or silently resenting the fact that we couldn't be close like we were before because despite the legalities of the situation, I will always consider her to be my mom and her children to be my brothers and sisters. It's tricky, and it's complicated, but it makes sense to me so I don't care if it makes sense to anyone else. We kept in touch from a distance (email and christmas cards), but I was never able to attend the family activities I was invited to due to money or once I had had surgery 2 days before. I will always regret that. I will always wish I had tried harder or gone despite the meager balance in our bank account.

Three years ago or so, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had a double masectomy and went through multiple rounds of chemo. She was in remission for a while, but then it returned with a vengeance. She died Sunday night in her home, surrounded by her children. She didn't feel any pain. The official cause of death, I believe, was liver failure, although the cancer had spread to so much of her body that in the end, she seemed to be more cancer than healthy tissue.
I received an email from my dad on Sunday afternoon letting us know that the end was near. It was not enough time for me to say goodbye but I like to think that she knew me enough and loved me enough to understand my feelings for her.
I love her so much, and I will miss her so much, but I'm grateful for the plan of salvation. I don't know how my tricky, messed-up family is going to be sorted out in the end, but I know I will see her again, and that families, no matter how complicated, really are forever.

Linda Grace Streeper June 7, 1952-October 11, 2010