A Parents' Tribute

The following is the tribute we wrote (which Brent read) for Henry's memorial services. Brent asked me to post it for you all. There are also some friends and family members who posted tributes of their own on their personal blogs in the days following Henry's passing:
Roses for Henry written by my sister, Camille
Brief Pause from Claire
Pause from Kristen
And on a very different, but equally touching note, The Tale of Sir Henry from Mona

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Brent & Emily’s Tribute as Parents to

Our Beautiful Baby Boy Henry

Before I share with you Emily and my thoughts and feelings, I first must thank each of you for coming to share in our celebration of our boy’s life. We thank you for the many prayers in our behalf, the kind notes and words, hugs, flowers, food, rides and everything you have all done for us. I’m sure we’d be crying more and be worse for wear without your help through this.

The following is a combination of thoughts and feelings Emily and I have had and want you to know of our joy in this process.

One of the most uniting and defining characteristics of our marriage has been our love and desire for children. We knew it wouldn’t be easy to start our family but knew that every medical treatment and the years of waiting would be more than worth it. What we didn’t realize was how quickly and deeply we would fall in love with our first baby. We sobbed and poured out prayers of thanks the morning we found out we were pregnant, because that, in and of itself, was a miracle.

We knew several weeks before he was born, that Henry would have an uphill battle but we felt ready to fight along side him. The fact that he had survived 7 weeks with very little fluid to support him was a miracle. The speed and ease of his birth was a miracle and he came out perfect and unharmed. In Emily’s own words: “I remember looking at his tiny, perfectly formed body as the doctors cut the cord and I cried and thanked Heavenly Father for this amazing gift. Henry had made me a mother forever, no matter what happened next.” For me, that moment was both exciting and terrifying as now I had two people I loved both being helped by doctors. I was a Daddy and a Husband and the tears streamed as I watched both in amazement.

The miracles continued to be poured out as the 3 of us trudged our way through the neonatal unit and upcoming 16 days. Henry proved to be quite the champion. We look back on all our interaction with him and all of the things his tiny body was capable of and realize that Heavenly Father truly blessed him with extraordinary physical gifts. He was allowed to experience more than what was normal for his gestation and sometimes more than what is normal for a full-term baby. His ability to recognize his parents’ voices before he could even see us, lift and turn his head, distinguish between holding our fingers and a blanket (he preferred fingers) and so many other things showed his strength. He fought his battles as though he were a brave knight, which earned him the loving title of “Sir Henry” among family and friends. He barely ever cried and we’re pretty sure the few times he did, it was only to try it out and see what it was like.

To us, as his parents, he never seemed like a frail, sick baby. Henry felt like a brave and valiant spirit and we wondered how all of that strength and power could fit into such a little package. But at the same time, when we held him, we knew in our hearts that he was our precious little baby and we gained so much joy from being able to cuddle and comfort him and feel his warm little body relax against ours.

I like to compare our Henry to a group of young men in the scriptures called the stripling warriors; Stripling because they were very young; Warriors because they volunteered to defend their families and country from their enemies that were attacking them. The description of these stripling warriors in the scriptures says: “And they were all young men, and they were exceedingly valiant for courage, and also for strength and activity; but behold, this was not all – they were men who were true at all times in whatsoever thing they were entrusted. Yea, they were men of truth and soberness, for they had been taught to keep the commandments of God and to walk uprightly before Him.” (Alma 53: 20-21.)

When it came time to actually go to battle this is what they said: “…Behold our God is with us, and He will not suffer that we should fall; then let us go forth; we would not slay our brethren if they would let us alone; therefore let us go…” (Alma 56:46.) Their leader then wrote: “Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them. And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it.” (Alma 56:47-48.) Henry is our stripling warrior because he saved his mother’s life. In the many weeks of doctors and bedrest, I saw and know that the doctors were more worried about Emily than they were of Henry. She bravely carried on knowing the risk, even as it got worse and worse. I was not there in Heaven, but I feel that Henry must have been courageous enough to have volunteered to come early to save his mother’s life knowing full well that he himself might not make it. The miracle that we got him for two weeks beyond that, I am forever grateful.

The bond we formed in just a few short weeks is a blessing beyond measure. We are so thankful we got to meet our little Henry Boy and get to know his spirit before he was called home. There are so very many reasons that he shouldn't have even been born or live as long as he did and we will be forever grateful that he negotiated for that time. He could have come and gotten his body in the womb and left before he was born but he wanted to know us and was blessed to have a glimpse of what life is like and that is amazing.

We have been taught and we truly believe that children are pure and innocent, as Jesus said “Of such is the Kingdom” and those taken back before they are old enough to make choices are saved through the power and atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ. We know that Henry is included in this. What peace it brings to us to know we have one child who has already secured a place in the presence of our God. It doesn't take the pain away but it does lessen the sting. Henry had a plan; he just forgot to tell it to us.

Our hearts have been changed forever and we will miss our valiant and brave Sir Henry every single day but know that we will someday be reunited with him, and all that is lost from us now will be restored to overflowing. We believe and trust in the power of Eternal Families and that gives one more reason to live the best and most Christlike lives we can, so that we can be with Henry as a family again, forever. We pray that he is doing well on his new heavenly mission and that he now gets to help prepare his siblings for their earthly journey.